I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
