What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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