mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
You don't make any sense
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