i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
