I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Randomize
