So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
