Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize