Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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