we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
