When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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