sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
