I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
