Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize