i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
