please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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