i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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