dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
