So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize