This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
