im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
