i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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