Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
