I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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