mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
