Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I just made out with a guy for $7.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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