no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
