You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
