I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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