Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
