I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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