At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
