My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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