She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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