i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
