If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
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