All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
