You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
