Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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