How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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