Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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