Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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