God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
