i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
