Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
