i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Randomize
