Jerry, you need to find god
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
