Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Randomize
