i think i scared a bird with my dick
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
