I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize