if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
