he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
tell me about the eggs
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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