honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
