If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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