and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
we're making bets on your personal life
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
