I am full of burrito and curiosity
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize