I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i dont even know how to be here
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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