At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
