i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
