would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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