found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Randomize
